Sunday we went to evening service instead of our regular early morning. Usually we don't have evening service, but every other month the church has a worship service at night. It literally rocks, off the chain! we have some very talented musicians in our church, and it's a good time. We also took communion. Usually Ava is in the kids service, and she had not done it before, but she and Stevenson were with me (Elle playing major video games with the rest of the kids---go figure) and I asked Ava if she wanted to take communion and she said yes. We couldn't leave Stevenson sitting there by himself, so I took him thru it. I was a little afraid because he had just been whining that he was HUNGRY and I was not sure what would happen, but he did fine. He did not ask for more bread. He did drop it on the floor before he got to the juice, and we had to start over, but other than that he did perfect. Being hungry, I'm sure he wondered when the heck he was going to get some real food! Ava has been asking me alot of questions about Christianity, which is encouraging. I have found that even though they attended church regularly and were from a devout family, they don't understand much of the concept. She knows all about Jesus, but she's asked me several times who God is. Also, they don't know the Christmas Story or the Crucifixtion or Resurrection or Passover either. So....lot's to try to explain in a way that hopefully they can grasp. Not so easy, since so much is paradox and mystery.
Overall, I feel like Stevenson's adjustment in our family has been going pretty well. Having him here with his sisters is like the final piece in the puzzle. It has brought Ava some peace, as well as purpose, and Elle loves having a mischievious playmate, when they are not fighting with each other. But I have worried about him because he has been such a stoic little trooper, a tough little guy. In reality, he is just a little child that has been thru a tremendous amount of trauma, and my gut feeling is that he has had alot of walls up. I even think he started that as survival behavior in the orphanage. He learned things in the 10 months he was there that he never did when he was with the girls at their birth parents. Like hitting, biting, and best of all, cussing. The cussing is in Creole, so I don't know he's doing it until his sisters tell on him, and they always do. He has let his walls down little by little. This morning he had a complete melt down, the first one. I had to drive him to school, and wait for his teacher to get there so she could take over. He did well the first 2 weeks, but his language barrier frustrates him and I think he is feeling isolated. And afraid. Even though he is in a very caring environment, and his sisters are nearby.
I'm wondering if I need to take him out and put him in preschool for the rest of the school year. Not sure if that would be good or bad, he'e be seperated from his siblings and he depends on them alot more than he would like to admit as a little tough guy. Part of me feels like it's the trauma coming out and it does not really matter what educational setting he is in, the stuff has just gotta come out. He brags to his sisters that he was not afraid during the earthquake or in Port-Au-Prince in the aftermath, or on the airplane coming to Miami. I don't believe that, but I will just have to wait until he trusts me enough to tell me the truth.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Stevenson started Kindergarten yesterday. He looked pretty scared when I left him there with his huge language barrier, but I knew he would be OK, and he was. For everything the kid has been thru in the last 2 months I figured this was one of the easier hurdles. And he was pretty excited when I picked him up yesterday. I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon :) but for now, he's good.
He is a quiet boy, well behaved, until he gets around his sisters and then they are a wild bunch, let me tell you! After school I took him up to the church yard so he could ride his bike. He was mad because his sisters are very fast without their training wheels, and they are also old enough to ride around the neighborhood a little bit by themselves, and he feels left out. His time will come soon enough!
People ask me if this is just so much harder now, but so far the reality is, it's been easier since he has been here. I know that sounds strange. It's more work physically, keeping up with laundry, cleaning, and getting three of them up and on the bus at 6:45am, but we are jelling as a family unit; the girls are more at ease, and even though they get mad at him (alot) for little boy reasons, they love him and love to play with him and take care of him. And so, that makes things easier.
Posted by Marta at 4:33 PM
Monday, March 8, 2010
Posted by Marta at 1:00 PM