Sunday we went to evening service instead of our regular early morning. Usually we don't have evening service, but every other month the church has a worship service at night. It literally rocks, off the chain! we have some very talented musicians in our church, and it's a good time. We also took communion. Usually Ava is in the kids service, and she had not done it before, but she and Stevenson were with me (Elle playing major video games with the rest of the kids---go figure) and I asked Ava if she wanted to take communion and she said yes. We couldn't leave Stevenson sitting there by himself, so I took him thru it. I was a little afraid because he had just been whining that he was HUNGRY and I was not sure what would happen, but he did fine. He did not ask for more bread. He did drop it on the floor before he got to the juice, and we had to start over, but other than that he did perfect. Being hungry, I'm sure he wondered when the heck he was going to get some real food! Ava has been asking me alot of questions about Christianity, which is encouraging. I have found that even though they attended church regularly and were from a devout family, they don't understand much of the concept. She knows all about Jesus, but she's asked me several times who God is. Also, they don't know the Christmas Story or the Crucifixtion or Resurrection or Passover either. So....lot's to try to explain in a way that hopefully they can grasp. Not so easy, since so much is paradox and mystery.
Overall, I feel like Stevenson's adjustment in our family has been going pretty well. Having him here with his sisters is like the final piece in the puzzle. It has brought Ava some peace, as well as purpose, and Elle loves having a mischievious playmate, when they are not fighting with each other. But I have worried about him because he has been such a stoic little trooper, a tough little guy. In reality, he is just a little child that has been thru a tremendous amount of trauma, and my gut feeling is that he has had alot of walls up. I even think he started that as survival behavior in the orphanage. He learned things in the 10 months he was there that he never did when he was with the girls at their birth parents. Like hitting, biting, and best of all, cussing. The cussing is in Creole, so I don't know he's doing it until his sisters tell on him, and they always do. He has let his walls down little by little. This morning he had a complete melt down, the first one. I had to drive him to school, and wait for his teacher to get there so she could take over. He did well the first 2 weeks, but his language barrier frustrates him and I think he is feeling isolated. And afraid. Even though he is in a very caring environment, and his sisters are nearby.
I'm wondering if I need to take him out and put him in preschool for the rest of the school year. Not sure if that would be good or bad, he'e be seperated from his siblings and he depends on them alot more than he would like to admit as a little tough guy. Part of me feels like it's the trauma coming out and it does not really matter what educational setting he is in, the stuff has just gotta come out. He brags to his sisters that he was not afraid during the earthquake or in Port-Au-Prince in the aftermath, or on the airplane coming to Miami. I don't believe that, but I will just have to wait until he trusts me enough to tell me the truth.
2 comments:
For the very reasons you mentioned we opted to not put Morelson in Kindergarten this year. I knew before we even brought him home that emotionally he is not where he needs to be. He is bright, I was actually pretty impressed w/ the skills he came with, but not in line w/ his cognitive peers emotionally at all. He is fragile as well, and unlike S he wears his emotions on his sleeves. Don't hesitate to do K again if you decide to not pull him out this year. We consulted w/ a lot of people before making our decision. They all agree that chronological age is considered far to much in this country when placing children in school and it's really the child's social/emotional age that is the best indicator for school readiness. Plus it's much easier to skip a grade if need be later on than it is to go back a grade once your past 1st grade.
So happy to hear that things are going well overall!
It's like waiting for it all to come out. Wasn't his big sister like that, too? Little Miss Lady? Didn't she keep it together for quite a while? He sounds like such a great little guy, and you sound very in tune to what might be going on with him. I love the pics of them together.
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