A Little Catch Up

First of all, I'm going to bite the bullet here and start calling the kids by their real names. It's just feeling too contrived to do the alias thing. I feel like I don't have enough time to be contrived. The whole alias thing messes up my mental flow, and God knows I sure don't need that!


When the girls first came home I called them by their Haitian names. I told them when we were in Haiti that they had American names, and I told them what they were. They seemed fairly unimpressed and I decided it would be best not to force the issue at that time. I also figured out that if they were really freaked out by a name change that I could easily live with them keeping their Haitian names as their first names. As time progressed, we would occasionally talk about it but I still did not force anything. Then I enrolled them in daycare. I enrolled them as using their Haitian names as their middle names, since that was the plan anyway. At that point I was not that attached to the whole idea anymore, but their peers started calling them by their American names and by that time they were ready for it, and they accepted it with pride and pleasure.

Ava Widmina; now just Ava

Elle Marie Lovely; most of the time just Elle now,
or Elle Marie
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Elle Marie has been complaining about a toothache off and on and before I could get her in for a check-up, the situation deteriorated suddenly, and for the worse. All of a sudden as of last Wednesday she was in terrific pain all of the time, and orajel or Tylenol did not even touch it. I got her in to see the dentist Thursday, who referred her to a pediatric dentist. The cavity was right on a nerve, and that was the problem. Who unfortunately could not see her until today. The last 5 days have been pretty hellish. It's hard to have a baby that is crying in pain almost all the time. Hard on her, hard on everybody. She was prescribed Tylenol with codeine, which seemed to have a short shelf life when it came to pain relief and ending up giving her a stomach ache plus constipation on top of it all. Let me just say last night ended with a Tylenol PM for her and an adult beverage for me. Today we went to the dentist, and I knew it was going to involve sedation, so I was able to explain that to her. After looking, the dentist decided it was going to be best to remove the baby tooth instead of trying to save it. I explained all that to her as well. They took her back and it was all over with pretty quickly. She did well, and did not cry.

Until she got in the car. Then she started mourning that tooth. She did not believe me when I told her another one was going to grow in it's place. By the time we got home home she was in a full on rage. She raged over that darn tooth for at least an hour, boy was she mad. I also tried to explain to her that she was not going to have anymore of that deep pain, but she would not listen. That dentist took something important away from her, and she was having none of it. She'd already forgotten how much pain she'd been in over the past 5 days. Sigh.

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Ava has been doing some extreme grieving over her 1st mom and her family in Haiti. It's hard to listen to and it's hard to watch but I know it's crucial for me to be there with her and I am glad that she trusts me enough to demand that I go thru it with her. Some seemingly little thing will set her off and she goes into an irrational tantrum. Then she starts screaming for her first mama over and over. Then she rages, and I mean she rages. Finally she breaks down into sadness and that is when she will finally allow me in, in fact she needs me at that point. The good news is, the whole process builds trust for her towards me. I KNOW she has to go thru it. Also, she will tell me lots of things about her life and her family before and after these episodes. There have not been too many, just a few at this point. It's really hard. And I know it's a 100X harder on her than me, which just blows my mind.

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But other than these detours, the girls are doing really well. Ava likes to cook. She has alot of natural style. She is catching up in her reading level, moving really quickly. Her latest favorite saying is "Yes Ma'm!" Elle is full of energy and extremely naturally athletic. She can be unbelievably sweet. For all they've been thru they still have their innocence. And they are a ton of fun.

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Nick and Ashley came over the other night on their way out of town. They were on their way to NYC via Raleigh and Philly. Not sure how long they will be up there, and he left a suitcase behind, but if I were a bettin' woman, I would say he'll be there for awhile. He's restless, and their is no place like New York for that. I could have lived there when I was younger, but I did not discover the place for myself until long after I became a small town girl again, so for me it's a great place to visit but I don't want to live there. However, I think he will like it. I don't expect him back for that suitcase for awhile.

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As for Lucas...well, right now he's a teenager doing teenage things. He's pretty good with his sisters, but he was ready to see his dad the night Nick and Ashley came over, so he did not stay for this love fest. I promise I will sneak up on him with the camera soon!