Weird Fish

I talked to my oldest son on the phone yesterday for about 45 minutes. You may recall he lives in San Francisco now. He is on his 4th job there, he says he likes this one. It's somewhat similar to the last one he had here, where he worked for over 2 years, he is cooking at a trendy, largely vegetarian restaurant. Weird Fish is the name of it, so if you happen to be in the City you might want to stop by.

I miss him alot and wish he would come home and visit! He said he would come in December. A bunch of his friends moved out there at the same time, so he is not lonely. I think he does find it much more difficult than he thought it would be. I find it interesting that he identifies himself as a Georgian in San Francisco, when he was born less than 30 miles from where he is right now. Interesting in a good way.

I wrote yesterday that I wanted all my children to be all they could be. I was thinking of all of them when I said that, but perhaps more so this one. This child is VERY independent and he is also VERY bright. He is doing alot of exploring. He says he wants to travel more seriously next year. He wants to go to France. (I encouraged him to go to Haiti with me next time, but he ever so politely declined, lol) I wish he would have gone to University first, but he absolutely did not want to. He is very artistically talented, and I encouraged him to go to art school, but he vehemently resisted any further formal education. We thought about forcing it on him, but after talking to alot of other parents who have gone thru this, felt like it would backfire. Like it would be complete waste of opportunity, time, and money, and then he would never finish or go back or learn anything. I am hoping that at some point he will realize that further education will help him in life, and go for it. Experience is a great teacher. But right now he believes it is all just so bourgeois.

Sigh. Little kids can be tough on a mom. So can big kids.

Being You, Being Me

What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be alot of things, and sometimes the choices seemed so endless it was hard to choose. The flip side of that coin is that I had desires inside of me that I did not even know how to articulate. Some, that I learned to express, were roundly and repeatedly rejected as impractical. I'm not here to play a blame game. My parents grew up during the Great Depression and WWII and it profoundly affected their worldview, as it did just about everyone that went thru that experience. Survival was a real struggle. As a result, *practicability* was a mantra and a lifestyle in our household growing up. I remember telling my parents when I was about 10 that I really wanted to be an artist when I grew up. And that was really true. They shook their heads and said "you have to be really good to do that", the implication being that I was not. We had that conversation several times, and then I put it to rest. I guess I thought I needed their permission.

You see, they thought what I needed when I grew up was a *job*, because jobs were hard to come by in their formative years. They knew I would need some kind of security in my adult life, because in their experience security was hard to come by as well. So when they told me that, they were doing the best they could. Even though it was obvious to everyone that knew me that I used every creative form available to express myself. They could not understand, nor did I at the time, that artists are born, not made. And expression comes in many forms. I suspect the same is true of other professions. I have met engineers, scientists, business people, teachers, etc...that are passionate about their work, because it is more than a means to an end.

I graduated from a state university in 1983. I have always had a job, and I ended up in a creative field. In 2000, I was accepted into the University of Georgia's Lamar Dodd School of Art, and the following year, I was accepted into the Interior Design program which accepts 20 new applicants per year. I was and am still working my full time job, and currently my student status is on hiatus. My point is, it's never to late to be who you are. For me, accepting who I really am has led me to be authentic and congruent in all areas of my life. And I'm not saying that career is the most important thing in life, because to me, God and family come before that. My belief is that if you have a family, that is the most important contribution you will make in your lifetime. Recognising and developing your gifts will help you in that contribution.

In art school, I realized I did not need anyone's permission to be who I already am.

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The new art building opened this fall, and separates my parking space from my place of business so I often shortcut thru the hallways, which also serve as galleries. It just so happens that the fabric design department is on the first floor, and fabric design is my *first love*.

I love student work. It is so amazing and innovative!!! My work tends to be more structured and I have to fight to break down those walls sometimes. So I always admire a younger mind-set.

This work actually does look like something I would do. Which reminds me that structured is not always boring.

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My dream for all my children is that they will become in this journey we call life, all they are meant to be. It takes a certain kind of courage, from us and from them. We may not like all the choices they make. But the plan for their lives may be for the greater good. And it they don't do it, who will?

The Whacky World Of International Adoption

I got some surprising email news yesterday from Sarah. Although we are still in MOI, the girl's birthparent(s) have done the interview at the Embassy. It appears that all my requirements have been fulfilled for the I600 but I am not sure on this. I do need to know, as the deadline to extend my application is next Friday, and the only way to extend is to contact the USCIS in Haiti...


I was surprised because


a.) The parent(s) lives in Port Salut, which is at least 5 hours from PAP, and from what I understand there has been alot of hurricane damage to the roads. Under the best of circumstances, travel in Haiti is not that easy.


b.) I have friends much further along in the process that still do not have the birth parent interviews. It's frustrating and I feel bad for them, because it is holding up the end process.


I don't know if the girls parents are still together or not. I don't know if their father is still in the picture at all. I don't know how many other brothers and sisters they may have, if any. I do know they were and are loved. They have that foundation. I have long worried about them seeing their birth mother (Claudette) at this interview. I can't imagine the emotions, the confusion, the joy and the heartache and the leaving again. I do know that whatever the story, I am humbled by Claudette's strength and love.

This picture was part of a series that was taken by a French mom the first week the girls came to the *O*. It was buried in boatload of Snapfish albums and I did not see it until after I met the children and made the decision to adopt them. Her sad eyes shocked me profoundly when I first saw this. This was not a look I had seen on her during our first visit, or in other photos. Unfortunately I have to say I have seen it up close and in person since that time. It is the look of abandonment and the pain that accompanies. The first trip, when I left, she was just mad. The second trip, it was "I can't believe you are leaving me here" and crying. The 3rd time, it was this same stonefaced pain with tears, only more so. There cannot be a 4th time.

And so....I thank God, Marie, Claudette and whoever else was involved for making the interview happen. That is one big obstacle out of the way. These kids need to come home.

Handicap!

Not that I really believe in this but I think I cursed myself talking about so much work last week. I was doing it to give myself a pep talk and get thru another long week with no days off... I might feel a tad differently about that if I was not a salaried employee as I would be getting paid for my overtime but alas...

Things got worse, much worse, than I could have imagined. My assistant manager and my night-time supervisor both went into the hospital on the same day! (Tuesday) My day-time supervisor had a long planned vacation to NYC and Shea Stadium set up for the end of the week, which I had approved long ago. So not only did I end up working everyday, I pretty much ended up working ALL day. I have 9 retail units scattered all around our large campus. Two of them are restaurants. This time of year we are open 7 days a week, 7am to 10pm.

Under the best of circumstances it's complicated, but I have been blessed with a capable team that does most of the *heavy lifting*...most of the time I just go to meetings, make decisions, fret with endless amounts of paperwork that I hate and therefore delegate as much as possible, and ride around in the van checking out all the units and making sure everything is up to standard. I generally work about 40 hours a week, sometimes a little more, and during the slow months sometimes a little less. With my management staff pretty much wiped out, it's still up to me to make it all happen, regardless of handicap. I do have one assistant manager left, and a student manager. Somehow with the help of some really loyal employees, we have remained operational. We're tired!


This is the first time that anything like this has happened, where the bottom just fell out, and there was not a thing that could be done about it, except what we are doing. I hope it never happens again. I worry about being away from my son day and night, as I should.

I am concerned for my assistant who is still in the hospital. She is also my friend. She ended up having arterial blockage that required 2 stints. She is 47 years old.

I'm searching for the silver lining. I know it must be here somewhere :)

The UN in Haiti

The situation in Haiti is dire. With more storms in the Atlantic theatre, the possibility lurks that it could get worse before it gets better. Certainly what has happened already is bad enough, and in the aftermath the food issues, which caused rioting and death earlier this year, could certainly escalate.

Please contact your state elected officials, urging them to use their voice. Read the letter below. If you are American do not forget that the US pays approximately 38% of the operational budget of the UN (more than any other country) using your tax dollars; you certainly have a voice in this.


***Word from Haiti:


Dear Friend,

Ike rained and blew all night on poor Haiti. This morning it is still raining and blowing. While we are safe on a mountain in Port au Prince, the northwest of Haiti is experiencing a natural disaster of unimaginable proportions.
Tropical Storm Hanna flooded Gonaives and claimed more than 500 lives in the past week. Now Hurrican Ike is dumping more wind and rain on the battered region. This morning we received a first hand report of a missionary there who said, "Forty children in the orphanage are eating flour, because they have not had food for five days." This same missionary is using bleach to purify contaminated well water for drinking. While human and animal cadavers float in the flood waters surrounding the facility. They have no other choice though as the UN is NOT DISTRIBUTING RELIEF.


The UN received 33 tons of relief for the region yesterday and it is warehoused in Gonaives, to date they have not distributed any of it. We received a message from a Haitian pastor in Gonaives who said his wife walked 18 hours through mud and flood waters to get food for her family. She returned empty handed, even with cash she could not find food; BECAUSE THE UN IS HOLDING THE FOOD BACK IN THE WAREHOUSES. It is rumored they will sell the relief after the storm.


This same family said, they "are waiting for death." This is not an overstatement of the situation in Haiti. We need your help now. You can go on line and find the name of your Congress men and you United States Senators with their phone numbers. Call them today and tell them that the UN is NOT DISTRIBUTING RELIEF IN HAITI. That you know the situation is worsening by the minute and thousands are at risk, in fact 600,000 Haitians have been displaced without food and water for days now.


As of Sunday morning, aid had arrived in Gonaive but due to fear of rioting, it had not been distributed according to missionaries in Gonaive. People have been without food AND water for 6 days now. Orphanages in the area have children without food and water.


The UN that is suppose to distribute the food and water. The US, Canada, France, Belgium, Switzerland, Spain, The Netherlands, and other countries supporting the UN should demand that this food be distributed!
Another missionary, Licia Zachary Betor with Real Hope for Haiti, in the village of Cazele said that at 3 AM on Sunday morning, a wall of water swept through the village of Cazele. There is a small, shallow river that runs through the middle of the village. They are assuming that a mud slide in the mountains caused the wall of water to sweep down and flood the village. It took out the foot bridge over the river and swept people away. Licia heard that the road to the village was cut in half by the fast moving water and so the village is isolated, but she did not know for certain yesterday afternoon if that was true. Go to her blog at: http://haitirescuecenter.wordpress.com/ to read more about the flood.


Please be praying for Haiti. Due to the flooding and devastation, schools will not open until October 6. Your help is needed more than ever to help the Haitian children. ***


I attached this letter to both of my Senators, and added my own brief comments about my personal situation. I let them know that my girls are legally mine, but are still in Haiti awaiting the end process. That when they come home they will not only be US citizens but citizens of the state of Georgia. Will it make any difference? I hope so, but the more of you that do it too, the better chance we have of getting some attention.

Flooded

It is heartbreaking to see these pictures from the AP in Haiti. At least when we have a hurricane in US...and yes, they can be terrible...we have resources. In Haiti there are very limited resources and sometimes none at all.

As one person put it "we have given up on the dead for now and are just concentrating on living".

As a *weather person* put it, "Haiti doesn't need another hurricane, a tropical storm will be devastating".

And here comes Ike. Yes, it is raining right now in Haiti, again, as I write this. If you are a praying person, or someone that believes in positive energy and thoughts, what ever the case, please direct your energies towards the forgotten people of Haiti. They really need it right now, more than ever. My friend Mandy posted the latest news on her site.

Searching for drinkable water

As for our kids, my girls, I'm not exactly sure where they are right now. I'm pretty sure they are still in PAP. What happened is this: they moved the "O", meaning everything but the kids. Moving the children actually means getting approval from IBESR, which was set about the time Faye happened, then Hanna, now Ike...making the roads even more difficult, if not impossible.

You may ask,"what do you mean you don't know exactly where they are?" Admittedly that is a pretty alarming statement, but if you have been to Haiti, you understand that in the best of times phone service, electricity, clean water, are not things to take for granted. Right now it is difficult to get information out of Haiti except for the news service. But the last word I got was the kids were still in PAP and they were OK. The few kids in the other location were also OK. It's the terrain in-between that is not (see first photo).

So again I ask you, please direct your thoughts and prayers towards the people of Haiti.

Work, Work, Work....

At the Art's Festival on Friday


Lots of activity going on right now, lots of hard work, and no days off this week. Fortunately, I see light at the end of the tunnel (next week-end), and today I actually just feel grateful that I have half a day off! Isn't that crazy?


I have always had a strong work ethic, some would say too strong. It's not that hard for me to fall into work-a-holic tendencies. That can be destructive and a downward spiral, if it becomes *all about me*. I've learned that there are more important things than career. Time, and especially time with dear friends and family, is something you cannot get back. I have matured. I have learned my identity is not all about my career. I fight for balance now. I fight so that my energy does not get completely sucked up daily by my job. It's a big fight. I am surrounded by people that are sprinting to get ahead. Many of them do not have children, and I say more power to them as they pass me by, but what I am most proud of now is BALANCE. Don't get me wrong. I still work hard and am (usually) proud of my work. I still have a job in which I directly effect the lives of others and have to make hard decisions sometimes. I still have a job in which I am virtually on call 24/7. So it's not exactly a cakewalk. And sometimes, like this time of year, just have to put alot of time in.



That being said....I believe in enjoying myself whenever possible!




Georgia 56 vs. Central Michigan 17

A late afternoon kick-off brought all the party hounds out early. And yes, it was HOT outside!

We are set up and waiting for the crowd...

My new boss does not know I took her picture...(hehe)

This is my long-time good friend who really showed me the ropes in the 12 + years I have been here. She is retiring this week, and this is her last game. It's gonna be pretty weird without her.

And, me being me. In a moment of vanity, I decided I hated looking like I did in that last picture to see if I could do better...made the decision I can never be photographed in a sitting position again!!!

Last but not least, some great video of the game itself. The kid they are talking about (#24) may be up for the Heisman Trophy. That's the talk on the college football circuit. Just talk for now. We will see.