The Measure of a Man

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
Martin Luther King Jr.

If you have ever had the opportunity to travel across the USA you realize how very LARGE this place is. Diverse. And not that old. So much opportunity, and so many growing pains. Growing up on the West Coast I was guilty, without even knowing it, of intellectually compartmentalizing the Civil Rights Movement in our country, even though I have been alive for most of it. (Even if I was a toddler) Theoretically, as I grew older, I believed I understood. Of course, I supported it. Fast forward 30 plus years, when I moved to Georgia. I found that I did not have a clue. I really did not understand what it meant to have to use a back door to an establishment, because of skin color, if allowed there at all. To have to use a separate drinking fountain, sit at a certain place on the bus, go to a 'separate but equal' (NOT) school. The reason I no longer intellectualize it is because people I know have told me about their experiences, living this life. One friend, who is a public school teacher, told me that her parents encouraged them, actually demanded from them, that they not follow the law in this respect. That they use the front door, the drinking fountain, etc. That was in South Georgia in the early 60's. Their parents, who were school teachers also, told them they were not to treat themselves as lesser citizens, so they didn't. To my knowledge they were never arrested. My friend Jane told me in detail about her high school, and the second hand, hand me down (from the white schools), outdated textbooks they were forced to use. They never, ever, had a new textbook.

The movie "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" released in 1967 caused quite a stir, and I was old enough to remember my parents talking about it. Because in some states, interracial marriage was still against the law.(!!!) Mom and Dad went to see it, I think she made him. Good on her!

I did not understand all these things. Segregation had not existed where I grew up. That is not to say that racism against African-Americans did not thrive: we bought a house in California in 1992 that was built in 1948. It had an original clause in it's early contracts stating that "Negro" persons were not allowed to buy it. Or even live in it. The clause was over-ruled by law in 1963. All of that was in the original paperwork. And even in the early '80's, when one of my childhood friends married a black cop from Santa Rosa, our California community was atwitter. My son in San Francisco tells me he is frequently asked about the 'racist South'; all the while, he's looking around wondering where all the black people are. They are not working in his places of business, nor are they generally customers. That's today.

There is much more I could say, but my goal is to state facts and share my experience and not politicize these issues. Obviously the issues are widespread, and obviously progress has been made. And I am grateful to the man who's legacy we celebrate today, who took a stand against moral evil even though it cost him his life. Because of my family, this battle has become my battle. But because of him, I have my family.