My Old Friend

Today was a hard day for me. I had to send my best friend to heaven.

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I have been knowing for awhile now the time was getting near. 12 years old and some bad health problems. Too many to realistically treat, so it has been a waiting game and she had a good run. The arthritis=bad. The cancer=very bad. The loss of bladder control=the worst (for me, anyway) I have practically worn out my Little Green Machine. It's been hard to see her in pain but until recently she's had more good days than bad. With the girl's imminent homecoming I knew I was going to have to do the grown up thing, and soon, but I can tell you I did not feel very grown up making that phone call since I bawled all the way thru it. I couldn't even make the appointment. That was day before yesterday. Yesterday morning as I was leaving for work, Dina was lying down in the hall, her ear all the way to the floor. She had that thousand mile stare, but her eyes were clouded in pain, and she was whimpering. She has always been a talker, especially when she was a puppy. This time was different; she was trying to talk but it just came out in her breathing and it was whimpering. With every breath. When I got to work I called back and made the appointment. I cried the whole time. But I knew when I got off the phone, and the 24 hours till her appointment that I was doing the right thing. And that fact is the only thing that got me thru it.

Today she woke up and was having a pretty good day, as you can see from the picture. And I'm glad that on her last day here, she was feeling pretty good. Those days have become less and less. I hugged and told her what a good dog she was and I thanked her. I told her I would see her in heaven. That is, if I make it; I have no doubts about her. And yes, I cried some more.

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Someday I might tell you the stories of how she found all the Easter Eggs at the church Easter Egg Hunt (many years ago) and stole them from the little kids, or how she would show off my panties to my new beau from the dirty clothes hamper or about the time I wished for one of those Tupperware batter bowls like my mother had and she showed up with one, no doubt after ravaging some neighbor's garage? garbage? kitchen? I was too embarrassed to go around and find out. (But at least I had my batter bowl...and I still do) Although I have been rich in dog companions the last several years, she was my only one for our first 9 years together. We literally walked many many miles together. She was beautiful, and she was love. She was great. And today was a hard day.